Taurus: Wisdom isn’t in the big revelations; it’s fluttering in every soft laugh of triumph after you’ve survived defeat. Better days are coming, and you’re finally wise enough to appreciate them but still silly enough to enjoy life.
Gemini: This week is about forgiveness, and your hair is finally ready to forgive you for that home perm you gave it in sixth grade. It won’t forget, though, so don’t try any trendy hairstyles any time soon.
Cancer: You have enough on your plate, why do you insist on filling up a to-go box with additional stress? Toss out all your old fears this week; everyone knows anxiety goes bad if you leave it on the counter overnight.
Leo: That outfit doesn’t make you the snappiest dresser, but it does crackle and pop when you sit down. Either you need some yoga, or someone has secretly starched your shorts again. Both could be reasons why you’re walking funny on Friday.
Virgo: The Universe is tired of watching you flounder, so it’s promised to go easy on you this week. The sun is shining and the water’s warm, so cut the carp, get off your bass and have some fun for a change.
Libra: Jealousy isn’t the best look on you, but you’ve had worse. Remember that Mary Kay makeup obsession in the 1980s? On the bright side, those green eyes are rather bewitching. Go ahead, use your pouty look and sexy walk for evil, just this once.
Scorpio: Someone’s trying to drag you into their drama, but you’re made for situation comedy. Bust through the door, say your catchphrase, then quickly dance off stage to some groovy music. They’ll be stunned, and you’ll be free and clear of their mess.
Sagittarius: Yes, you’re in a rut. It’s so deep, they may have to “Baby Jessica” your tush out of there. If you’d rather blast your way out of boredom with style, paint some flames on an e-scooter and jump out like a small-town Evel Knievel.
Capricorn: You are someone’s inspiration on Thursday, and another person’s wake-up call to reality on Saturday, all by being your sweet, bizarre self. Shine on, you tinfoil-covered, delightful weirdo, because you’re a local legend.
Aquarius: Good things come in small packages, but even better things come in really big boxes. Karma doesn’t use Amazon delivery, but something wonderful will show up for you on Monday.
Pisces: Reality can be a drag, but if you fill 341 tiny balloons with helium, it’ll lift your spirits right up. Tie them to your favorite tracksuit, and fly free over the hills. You’ll be the happiest UFO this town has ever seen.
Aries: The brightest star in the sky isn’t always a bundle of your hopes and dreams. Sometimes it’s a satellite knocked out of orbit and swinging your way. You can hide, or slap on a helmet and catch a free ride to adventure. Just make sure you turn the coffeepot off before you go.
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