How ya doing? Everything good? You need anything, something to drink, a plate of food, a hug, just say the word. If you’re here, you should at least be happy about it. As in the new book “Hotshot” by River Selby, there’s a problem if something’s wrong.
River Selby never set out to be a hotshot firefighter.
They never set out to do anything, in fact, but to stay alive while doing drugs, selling sex for food and money, working as a stripper and a waitress, and living for a time with a man under a bridge. It wasn’t the life they imagined when they became a runaway as a tweenager. Fighting fires was never on the radar until too many losses and an “unraveled” life, bulimia and a series of fast-food jobs sent them into a deep depression. The suggestion from a friend, a lifeline thrown, made Selby realize that they “would have tried anything.”
“A week later,” they said, “I was hired. Two weeks after that I was on my way to New Mexico for my first fire assignment…” Quickly and clearly, a big goal became apparent: Selby wanted to be a hotshot, to feel the “reverence” and camaraderie that elite firefighters enjoy, to know the excitement of chasing a raging fire — but they were told, “You can’t be a hotshot. You’re a girl.”
Two years later, the dream was realized after all when they were hired as “the first woman” of a hotshot crew, a fact of which the supervisor reminded Selby constantly. Sexual harassment and constant put-downs instantly became on-the-job concerns, none of which could be reported for fear of reprisals. That intensified Selby’s bulimia, sending them on an emotional tailspin, unsure of themselves and the root of the anxiety and feelings of inadequacy.
They sought therapy — and things again became clear.
“If you really believe that about yourself,” a therapist told them, “then someone taught you to believe it.”
In the past few months, there have been a lot of new memoirs about fighting fires, each as timely as the last. In the midst of them comes “Hotshot,” which is absolutely not a made-for-TV book. It’s different.
Yes, you’ll find some danger inside here and some edge-of-your-seat pages but mostly, fires aren’t all that need fighting in author River Selby’s account. From the opening pages, they plainly let readers know that their back story isn’t what you might expect from someone in a gutsy profession; in fact, this memoir might instead change your definition of “gutsy” as the actual fires they battled take somewhat of a back seat. In the fiery wake of #MeToo, that can get squirmy but Selby’s stories from history, ecology and geology make great ballast.
This is a worthy book for adventurers, and for readers who wonder what it’s like for a woman in a deeply-swaggering world. “Hotshot” may rankle you, it may inspire you, it may open your eyes to your own soul, so find it and read. With this book, you’ll love doing it.
— The Bookworm Sez
