Sagittar ius: The Universe keeps trying to expand your horizons, but you’re determined to close the drapes and lock the door. Watch out, because Karma has a lockpick and an attitude; you’re going to grow as a person and experience new joys whether you like it or not.
Capricorn: On Tuesday, ponder the big questions like “Why are we here?” and “How many licks does it really take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?” Your newfound wisdom will dazzle your co-workers and completely confuse the people waiting in line at the drive-thru window.
Aquarius: All is right with your world; quit expecting the worst. Relax and enjoy a brief moment of good cheer. Your phobias have a vacation booked, because they need a break from you, too.
Pisces: This week is so good, you’re afraid to take it out of the box. Go ahead, play with it; honk all the horns and spin the dials. It didn’t come with a gift receipt, so there’s no returns.
Aries: The Universe is saying “Do not pass GO, do not collect $200,” but you have your eye on a bigger payday than that. Break out those Jenga moves; you’ll be in Candy Land before you know it.
Taurus: Karma is urging you toward the road not taken, but you’ve had enough of learning experiences. Grab a drone, scout that path out, and give the Universe a quick ChatGPT write-up on it. That should buy you some quiet time for a few weeks.
Gemini: Inside of you are two wolves; you really need to stop sleeping with your mouth open at night. Anything could waltz in there. Before bed, set out some kibble and a few chicken nuggets. That should clear your system, except for the occasional hairball.
Cancer: You can do things the right way or the fun way. Pick the right way for Monday but when Friday comes, boogie on down that other lane. You’ll know you had a good time when you can’t remember it.
Leo: You’re used to life kicking you around, but this time it forgot to wear hard-toed shoes. Go ahead, stomp on some toes. Even Kris Kringle understands that sometimes turnabout is fair play.
Virgo: Trouble isn’t your middle name, but it’s definitely one of your aliases. Lay low and do a few outstandingly awesome deeds. If everyone around you is in a good mood, you can sneak in and grab your ‘Wanted’ poster from the Post Office wall.
Libra: Wednesday brings you three solid opportunities, two iffy solutions and a baker’s dozen of problems. Treat the week like a box of Christmas chocolates: Take what you want, and foist the rest onto your unsuspecting coworkers.
Scorpio: Cupid’s arrow doesn’t hit you as much as it throws you down the stairs and takes your lunch money. Sure, love hurts, but it shouldn’t max out your insurance deductible. Skip the wild thang, because there’s a sweetie coming your way to kiss all your boo-boos soon.
