Leo: The next few days treat you gently and pack your lunch with all your favorite treats. You’re not sure why, but after the last few months, you’re definitely ready to be coddled by the cosmos. Ask for hot cocoa and a bedtime story to complete the experience.
Virgo: Some days it’s all sunshine and rainbows, and other days you’re pelted by water balloons full of pea soup. This week you’ll get something in the middle, like being mowed down by a fire hose spewing marshmallows at you. Kinda sweet, but also a bit painful.
Libra: The stars are conflicted about your latest big venture, and recommend proceeding with caution. Then again, they can’t even agree on where to order lunch, so do what you want; the Universe is busy trying to track its Uber Eats delivery.
Scorpio: A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, but some of that expensive brandy at the back of your cupboard will make you forget the medicine all together. You won’t remember most of Tuesday, but you’ll wake up with a snazzy new tattoo.
Sagittar ius: Most people meditate and ease into inner peace, but you’ve got it in a headlock and are trying to make it tap out. Relax, because enlightenment treads softly, but it does carry a big stick. And a taser.
Capricorn: Good things are lining up for you like Walmart shoppers on Black Friday. Take a deep breath and prepare yourself. Once the stampede of abundance heads your way, you may need to duck a big-screen TV or two.
Aquarius: The first big idea you have on Wednesday won’t work, so don’t even try it. Where would you even get operatically trained frogs this time of year anyway? The 32nd brainstorm you have that day is the big winner, provided you can find enough tiny knee socks to fit the mosquitoes.
Pisces: Everything falls into place for you on Thursday, forming a perfect mosaic of creativity, prosperity and five dogs playing poker in the background. Your life may not be high art, but at least it’s entertaining.
Aries: Thursday isn’t a fishout- of-water scenario; it’s more like a rutabaga jumping out of a low-flying UFO. Karma has seen you do much weirder stuff, but this one could end up on the celestial break room bulletin board.
Taurus: This week feels like five miles of bad road, but honestly, it’s just a poorly timed jump over a shallow mud puddle. Cut the drama and keep some Wet Wipes handy; you’ll be fine.
Gemini: You’re not the hero of the story, but you do land a gig as the comic relief. Make ’em all laugh and you could score some time in the spotlight soon.
Cancer: Finding your place in the Universe should be a breeze this week, with all the big red arrows and “Stand Here” signs. Now you just need to figure out what’s coming your way: a maelstrom of good luck or a meteor strike.
