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Zodiac ARIES: A spark of madness is within us all, but right now you’ve got enough to power the Las Vegas strip. Take a day off, drink decaf, do whatever is necessary to keep you from doing an old-fashioned strip tease on the roof of the Dollar General.

Our Pet of the Week is Honey!

Zodiac ARIES: People don’t mind when you toot your own horn, but they would appreciate it if you did it with your face instead of your rear end. Lay off the beans for a few days; your co-workers will sing your praises.

Zodiac Beth Bartlett ARIES: You don’t have to be the best, but at least try to wear shoes that match and have your pants right side out while at work. As always, underwear and common sense are optional.

ZODIAC ARIES: You’re flying high and nothing can bring you down today. Enjoy it, because eventually helium will leak from those balloons tied to your office chair. Or your boss finds his old pellet gun and your descent will be much faster.

Zodiac ARIES: On Monday, you’re all sizzle and no steak. Don’t disappoint everyone by throwing tofu into the pan; slip in some bacon and everyone will be your friend.